We've Had A Change In Plans...

I've been thinking a lot about dying lately. It's not my fault. I was recently discussing birthdays with a friend, and she pointed out it was going to happen whether I liked it or not. Her words stuck with me. They've been running through my head on some sort of loop. (It's almost like that one time, when I couldn't stop singing the "C is for Cookie" song over and over, until I was in tears. Yep. Sort of like that.)

So I've been thinking about dying, and then I find out my son's graduating high school next year.(I know, it's odd. You have a child in high school, common sense says there's a likelihood this will happen. I'm the first to admit my reaction is similar to getting pregnant, and then being shocked when you give birth. Yep. Sort of like that.) Regardless, it was always some vague maybe that would happen down the road, this graduation stuff.

You can't blame me. When you have a child who doesn't learn to ride a bike until he's a teenager, who still forgets his full name, and whose brain could hemorrhage at any second and steal tomorrow away from him, well, I don't know. You don't spend so much time thinking about down the roads. So yes, I was surprised.

I was a bit concerned, too. We've been working so hard on the now, we didn't think about tomorrow. Not daring. To dream, to hope, to plan. To get a life. And that's when it hit me--holy crap and damnnit all, I'm still going to die some day.

I'm quite cool with the dying part(as long as I don't have to come back. That whole reincarnation bleck makes me break out in a cold sweat. I'll be so mad if I find out it's true. Seriously. Pissed.)I think the secret is to die exhausted. You know, live full and hard, so when it comes, you're relieved because you desperately need a break already.

Of course, only part of this new death obsession of mine rests on my recent epiphany. The other is a project I'm finishing. Or more, come back to. It's an old book-in-progress made new, and yes, it has Elvis in it. And surprisingly enough, it's also about dying exhausted. What struck me, though, was if my characters (who, hello, aren't even real) can do it, well, why can't I? Die exhausted?

So. I'm making a list. And checking it twice. All the insane and kooky things I want do. (Yes. I want to see the world's biggest ball of yarn. And a two headed chicken. Sorry, but I do.) My son's graduating and moving on into his own life. So, it's time I started dreaming more about mine and getting exhausted.

Yes. You heard me right. I'm open and looking for ideas. And I'm setting out to fulfill them, every single one, which I'll share here with all of you. So, the blog's direction, it's changing a bit. :)I will post a starter list and tentative plans soon...